monday 9/19

“the drive to why”

This is that time of year when the audio and visuals need updated. Did a photo shoot last friday an hours drive from where I live. We shot during magic hour, which automatically meant an hour driving home, in the dark on East Texas backroads.

Which automatically becomes an hour of contemplation…

The last couple of months have been an adjustment back to independence. Without rehearsals and shows to work for an around, I can use my time for anything I want.

Anyone who finds themselves in this scenario will tell how dangerous this can be if there isn’t a direction and a destination. Some call following a set of directions to a destination “a plan”, but I don’t like the term or the process of planning because, the idea of “a plan” sounds so concrete, it can easily lead the faithful and blind to disastrous outcomes. Despite detecting flaws early enough to adjust the course, “executing the plan” begins to supercede “achieving results”.

I prefer “objectives” that come with a list of things that add up to “objective achieved”. This leaves room for adding an adjusting as I discover what I didn’t know along the way.

(still contemplating… while driving.. in the dark)

After gassing up at a station, on the west side of the loop around Marshall TX, I spent the next ten miles or so realizing that I was completing a list of things I do every year or so regardless of whether or not there’s an actual objective. Why?

I could say these are habits adopted to mask the reality that there’s a bit a work that comes with getting what I want. Like: I have to practice everyday or I’ll suck, I need to listen to music (not audiobooks, not podcasts) to “remain immersed”, I need to network with people to stay employed, I need updated photos because I don’t look the same as the last batch, I need new recordings because…

..good question.

If I were in a band and in the support role I’m accustomed to, that would be an easy answer. Recording, coming up with grooves and beds is what I do. Whenever I have material at this stage, I’m usually on my way to putting a mic in front of a vocalist to finish the job. Today, I just did a photo shoot to accompany the release of my own material. No band (aside from the drummer hired for the recording), just me. Why?

As a musician I’ve always considered myself more of a mechanic or specialist than an artist. Unlike my friends who can whip out a song (lyrics/melody/etc) a day out of the air, I tend to require at least one other element to already exist before I go into action – even if that element gets deleted later in the process. When I say specialist: I’m a guitar player and anything else I’m able to do is thousands of feet below the altitude my playing flies. Sideman and support is my territory, but this time it’s me out front. Why?

Recording the material is nearly finished. I’m a couple lines short of a hook necessary to consider the first release “done”. Things are so close that B Roll for the video has been shot and edited. (yeah – there will be video before it even hits the streamers). As fun as the process and final outcome is, it’ll never match performing so… why?

I’ve just crossed the east side of the loop around Longview TX and have no reasons beyond, keeping the blade sharp and demonstrating capabilities. That’ll just have to be enough for now.

[r] 20220919